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  • Writer's pictureaymexume

I’m a beach snob, and I’m not ashamed to say it

I’m the type of person who will give a beach the side eye if the water is not bleu/clear enough. And that water must be refreshing without being cold. (I’m a Caribbean girl for crying out loud!)

I carefully assess the sand’s grain and texture before I decide to grant it with the presence of my bare feet. I’m that one person who will lounge on a chair all day and not take a dip in the water. I’m that one person who will take a look at the beach, shrug, and walk back to the pool area.

Beach = sand + ocean, and preferably with palm or coconut trees. I don’t partake in that lake = beach nonsense.

I’m a beach snob, and I know it.

I prefer secluded beaches to crowded ones. I like to have to beach to myself. I can be selfish like that. I’m not an outdoor person. But there’s something about being at the beach that is almost spiritual. To properly sun bathe, read and enjoy the beach, I need stillness and quiet. But people tend to be loud. And no, this is not because I’m being old; I’ve actually always been like this.

My worst day at the beach: I was a teenager when my family dragged me to Pointe-Sable (one of my favourite places in the world) during a Fête patronale—in Haiti, every city/town has a patron Saint; the festivities for that Saint are a mix of religious celebrations and non-religious parties. There must have been hundreds of people on the beach that day, and just as many in the water. There was loud music, loud conversations. Ugh! I sulked most of the day, ate and read a book. In case you’re wondering, staying home was not an option. Where I come from (Haitian parents and all!), kids/teenagers do as they’re told. I consider myself lucky to have been able to sulk.

I’m a beach snob for a reason. My family comes from Port-Salut (Google it). So Pointe-Sable and Ti Pòsali are the beaches of my childhood. I'm talking about Port-Salut before it became a tourist magnet. The beaches were pristine and quiet. There was only a crowd during the festivities for Saint-Dominique. While Ti Pòsali was rocky, it was the one closest to the family home. Although we had to walk through the cemetery and cross the river mouth to reach that beach, I enjoyed going there. Often, there would only be my grandpa, my sister and I.

I’m a beach snob, and I own it.

I’ve snubbed beaches in the Dominican Republic and in the Bahamas. The sand and the water were not up to par. And it didn’t matter if I hadn’t been to the beach in 5 years; I am not lowering my standards because of that. I laughed at the idea of dipping my toes in the freezing water in Cape-Cod. (For what?!)

Don’t you dare judge me! We all have that one thing that we’re picky about. For me, it just happens to be the beach!

(D day –20 y’all! I’m heading home soon.)

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